Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Kylee's Rawsome Healing Speech from Dance

Kylee’s Rawsome Healing Speech

June 4th, 2010

Fundraising Dance @ Hilton Gardens

Would like to take a moment to give special thanks to my family.

Jay for putting up with us wild women and loving me thru and thru. April, for always being true to nature, true to herself, inspiring me to be a better person. My Mom, for making things happen and loving so big. My Dad, for not just going along with us strong willed women for many years but, for always willing to learn and try new things along with us.

And Todd, my husband, not so much for your fighting me on certain things , but for being man enough to acknowledge that it’s not about giving in and just doing what I want but being willing to trust me and for staying by my side. You could have turned and walked the other way many times. But you haven’t and I am blessed in knowing that we are in this together. Thank you for being there even when you were uncertain or scared. We will heal together.

Saying thank you simply isn’t enough to express my gratitude. Usually I’m one of many words, always talking. But when I look out at all of you and reflect back on the past five weeks, I’m in awe of the out pouring of love and generosity. Some from those who have known me for years, maybe my whole life, others who have known me for a short time, probably through hockey or Todd, and the rest who don’t even know meat all.

Well. God knows me so well, that he knew without all of you I may not have done the researching, done the hard work and deep searching within to choose this way. That I believe is His way. Many times I’ve had the conversation with Him asking,” Are you sure God?”” It’s not really what I want to do but if this is what you want, what you have willed for me, make it known , PLEASE! And He knows how bad I can be at making decisions and choosing what’s right. He never leaves me in question for long because in those desperate moments of wanting a solid answer I would get a text of encouragement or see a message on facebook. Someone sharing their time, their love, donating, or expressing their support and how cancer has affected their life. Those things taking place were the only answers I needed.

I remember waiting for test results the second time around, only a year after my first diagnosis. This time I wasn’t in a hurry to find out. God knew I needed the time to listen, to hear from others, to hear Him and to see what was taking place around me so that when I made my choice I could state my case boldly and firmly. To stand firm in my convictions if and when others may doubt my choice of treatment. During this time of wonder, I realized that this is about so much more than just me .It’s about reaching out to those who have lived in their thinking that “ ignorance is bliss and what I don’t know won’t hurt me.” I was very much living my life this way until I sat in the doctor’s office and heard that I have cancer. My first response was “I just want more time. But I also had to realize that it wasn’t about getting more time, it needed to be.” what am I going to do with the time I have been given-how am I going to be – who am I going to be in whatever amount of time I am given.. That’s when I wanted to know the truth. I wanted to know more! I wanted to live by knowledge, because knowledge is power and I’d rather be powerful and know the truths, then be ignorant to what is going on around me. I started asking why people getting cancer and other dies-ease are. Why do the things that supposedly kill the cancer make you so sick, killing the good in you? Not only waging war on your organs, but on your mind. So this time around I have made the choice to know everything I can, to find the truth and toe end the suffering. Not from cancer, but from the chemo and radiation I endured. I now choose to know and I choose to change.

There is a saying that my mom has been inspired by, “Be the Change you want to see in the world.” That’s what this is really all about. This is what I am setting out to do! My destiny, I have questioned for a long time. It is my responsibility to grab it and put it to work. Everything is possible for he who believes! If or when there are days I’m tied or weak, I will be reminded of this night, this weekend and all of you and I will KEEP ON!! I will be praying for each of you that I do not gain from this journey alone, but that each of you and your families will use my experiences with cancer and my healing journey and make it your own. We all have a story and I can’t wait to one day hear yours. God is working something so divine right now and I pray you grab it with both hands always is a part of what you all helped to create!! God Bless You All and KEEP ON!!